Manners and Etiquette
A Downhome Perspective on All Things Southern

Home About Us Blog Genealogy Recipes Gardening Manners and Etiquette  Destinations History Art   Photojournalism Southern Furniture Maker Inspiration Write Life Opinion Contact-Education

Manners and EtiquetteAnswer to Question on creating a Southern HomeManners and Etiquette
Q & A

Southern Wedding

Simply Southern Wedding Part II

Southern Mother of the Groom

Parties and Showers

The Wedding Raising: Planning Ahead

The Wedding Raising: Implementation

Baby Showers

Southern Manners and Etiquette


Books I recommend:

The Goops and How to Be Them (excellent for very young children to help them understand the importance of good manners)

White Gloves and Party Manners  Marjabelle Young Stewart and Ann Buchwald

Stand Up Shake Hands, Say How Do You Do?  Marjabelle Young Stewart and Ann Buchwald

Manners by Kate Spade

Being Dead is No Excuse Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays (humorous look at Southern tradition plus some great recipes)

The Grits (Girls Raised in the South) Guide to Life by Deborah Ford with Edie Hand (Interesting, but consider your own guidance on certain issues)

The Art of Conversation: A guided tour of a neglected pleasure Catherine Blythe

The Etiquette Advantage in Business Peggy and Peter Post

Wakefield Plantation: History and Cookbook. The story of one Southern family with a Primer on Southern Manners and Etiquette by Sharman Jean Burson Ramsey and Dr. Sylvia Burson Rushing

Do you have questions on Etiquette Southern-style that you would like answered?
 Email us your question.  We'll try to address the question on this website.

I find the loss of civility in our society alarming.  Lord Chesterfield once wrote his son, "The most well-bred person in a room is the one who makes the fewest other people uncomfortable."  Spenser wrote, "The gentle minde by gentle deeds is knowne; For a man by nothing is so well betrayed as by his manners."  SPENSER 

For Southern women, teaching their children manners is of the utmost importance.  It is important not just for the parents, although it is immensely rewarding for others to comment upon how well-mannered our children are, but for the children themselves.  How awful for a child when others find them so rude in their conduct that they refuse to invite them back to their homes!

Behavior models attitudes and beliefs (Pavlov). When a parent teaches a child to stand when an adult enters the room, say yes ma'am/sir, no ma'am/sir, please and thank you, to give up a seat on a bus or in the living room to a pregnant woman, guest or elder, that a young man should stand should a woman comes to a table in a restaurant and continue to stand until that woman leaves or is seated, and to bow his/her head when grace is said, that parent has begun modeling the attitudes and beliefs of that child. The child is taught respect for authority and his elders, as well as self-discipline

When our youngest daughter got married, the first thing I gave her was a book with a contemporary look at manners and a book on writing thank you notes.  I am amazed at the number of people who comment on the thank you notes she has written to them, and how promptly they were written.

thank you note

This is one of the nicest thank you notes I have ever received. 1. It was prompt. 2. It listed specifically what she was thanking me for. 3. She personalized it making the separate elements add her sincere appreciation. 4. She wrote a very neat note with lovely, legible cursive writing.

I shall write more on this later.  Your comments and questions are welcome. 


Southern Etiquette Questions and Answers


Southern Lady Creates Southern Hospitality

Dos for a Good Conversation (Social Graces by Ann Platz and Susan Wales, p. 72)

Guests should remember 

Southern mothers lessons for her son

Southern mothers lessons for her daughter

Bear Bryant related an inspiring story that confirms the worth of being a man/woman of one's word.

Proper Table Setting    Social Graces by Ann Platz and Susan Wales


Place setting for lunch Resting during the meal Finished the meal


For more Questions and Answers click here.